Nov 28, 2005

"Pick it up, Pack it in, Let me begin..."

Ava's down for a nap so I need to get busy packing, but I'm taking a just a minute to collect my thoughts and feelings about the move. I know I keep writing about this, but it's what we're doing right now so it's on my mind. The problem is that I don't do well with transition. Every major transition in my life, even ones I was incredibly excited about, caused me stress. I don't really worry, but I do have trouble eating and sleeping.

I like to be settled, especially at home. I guess that's one reason I love to decorate so much. I love to create a "nest" that feels like home. The timing of this move is particularly stressful because my home is filling up with boxes and piles and looks a mess in a season when I'm usually hanging garland, decorating the tree and making it feel "homier" than ever! I love the warm glow of Christmas lights in the evening with Christmas music and the smell of spiced apple candles. That is home to me. I'm getting teary just writing about it. (I am such a sentimental dork!) However, I have decided not to put up a tree this year since we are closing on the house on Thursday of this week, and will be out by December 21st. That's only 3 weeks away! I have SO much packing to do that I just can't see taking the time to put up a tree only to take it down in a couple of weeks, especially with a one year old-- every spare second has to be spent being productive or we will not be ready!

We're going to be staying with family until we move in to the house in Abilene on February 1st. Chad knows that once we're in the new house, I will probably be working around the clock to unpack and get settled. I don't mean to be so obsessive compulsive; I just can't sleep soundly until I feel I'm home.

I feel strongly that God has been guiding us in this direction, and I feel completely at peace about the decision. We have received one confirmation after another, so we trust that God will bless this move. Still, with each box I pack, I feel my heart growing heavier. It makes everything more real. The truth is that I really can't even talk to my closest friends about moving. I can talk about it on a surface level, but I haven't really talked about how sad I am to leave friends. Why are moves so emotional? I can't even write about it without getting an enormous lump in my throat.

Ava's waking. . . packing will have to wait-- nothing accomplished but glad I could put some thoughts down. It's theraputic.

Nov 20, 2005

Give Thanks

I am thankful every day for my Ava. She adds joy and color to my life!
These are pictures from a Thanksgiving party we went to with some church friends. The kids dressed as pilgrims and indians. They were so cute!

Nov 14, 2005

This Old House

Well, it's official! We have a contract on our house and a close date for December 1st. The buyer is going to let us lease from her through the month of December so we don't have to move out for the holidays. What a gift, especially with a one year old! The house on Grand is also still looking good. We have filed to take the contingency off of the contract, and our close date will be January 31st. This means we'll have to live with my parents for about a month before we move in, but we're just thankful that we didn't end up losing the deal altogether.

God has been so faithful to work out all the details of this move. From the moment we started praying about this decision, things have fallen into place, and doors have flown open. While I am sad (very sad actually) to leave friends here, I feel confident that God directed us, and He is in control.

Lately, I have been having such bittersweet feelings as I start think about packing up this house, and making preparations to leave my job at church. There are so many wonderful people here that I cannot imagine my daily life without, and yet, I have faith that God will continue to bless these relationships while providing new ones in Abilene.

One more quick note-- Interestingly, after all of this prayer about the move and confirmation with our house selling, and jobs falling into place, Chad was offered a job today that would allow him to make considerably more money than we'll be making in Abilene. We could pay off grad school and cars. I could quit working. We could go on a vacation! Why now? Why was this option thrown into the mix? (I am so thankful for my wise, unselfish husband who was quickly able to say, "Not interested. This is not part of God's plan for us right now.") I guess I tend to be more selfish in nature because I had to evaluate things before I was able to come to that conclusion.

As I was thinking, I was reminded of a verse that I read on the same night we showed our house to the person who is now buying it. It's from Luke, the Parable of the Sower, a story I've heard countless times. But as I reread this scripture, one verse stood out to me: The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches, and pleasures, and they do not mature. Luke 8:14 I had always remembered the seed that fell on the path and rejected God, and the seed that fell on the rock which turned away from God in a time of testing. But this seed in verse 14 grew distracted by worry, money and the comforts of life and simply failed to grow! This caught me because these are my struggles-- worry, money, the comforts of life!

I realized that I don't want to get distracted by the possibility of more money and miss what God has in store for us when we follow his leading. I don't want to be that seed! But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop. Luke 8:15
My prayer is that we, as a family, produce a crop in Abilene and wherever else the Lord might lead us. . .