I had a moment of pure, unmitigated joy today.
As I worked on my bible study lesson, Ava napped on my chest. I could feel her sweet little breath on my neck, and I had her blanket wrapped around both of us as we rested on my bed. I was reading from 1 Corinthians as Paul was addressing the Corinthians about problems in their church, and the moment just snuck in.
1 Corinthians 2:9, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him--"
As I read, an unxeplainable peace swept over me. I held on to it, soaking it up and reveling in absolute Spirt filled joy. And then just as quickly as it came, it passed.
Not that I was sad after, but the moment was gone. The reality of my present sinful state on this earth crept back in, along with the lists of things to do; the washing machine buzzed alerting me that that load was complete; Ava stirred and woke up, ready to be changed and fed. The rest of my bible study would have to wait. But that scripture stayed with me, along with the memory of that fleeting moment.
I've had several of those moments in my life. They seem to hit me at unexpected times. It's almost as if I can step out of the situation and look at it with an outsider's perspective long enough to recognize the joy in that tiny, routine, seemingly insignificant moment. I wish I could hang on to them longer, and I wish that I could live my life more fully in each moment, instead of thinking about the next. I tend to be a chronic list maker, which lends itself to thinking about my days as a series of tasks to accomplish, instead of moments to enjoy. I'm going to work on changing my perspective, and putting my lists on hold.
Back to the scripture-- I had the thought that perhaps heaven in going to be a place where we can fully live in the joy of every moment. Why is it that things always seem better, happier, funnier in retrospect. When I was in college, everyone told me, "Enjoy this time; you'll never be as care free again in your life." I tried to enjoy it, but I'm sure that I worried too much about things I cannot even remember now; how can you fully appreciate the exact moment you're in at all times? The same thing goes for motherhood. I cannot count the number of times that people have told me, "Enjoy it now because before you know it, your baby will be _________(crawling, walking, talking, in kindergarten, a teenageer, leaving home. . . )" I really want to enjoy every moment, and when I have those rare fleeting moments like today's, I hang on to them as long as I can and try to appreciate them.
Perhaps no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived the absolute eternal joy and peace that God has in store for those who love him. Maybe He gives us a taste of it here on earth, in glimpses and in passing moments, so that we will continue to seek and love Him, as we press on, looking forward to the things He has prepared for us.
I'm sure that it's more than we could ask or imagine.
In the meantime, I'm off to change a diaper, and I'll try to appreciate it!
(Photo by Kristin Morales-- see site under More Blogs!)
Feb 7, 2005
Posted by Summer at 3:10 PM