Feb 16, 2005

On friendship

There is something about old friends. . . the ones who befriended you as you were, love you as you are, and encourage you to become more. And there is also a playfulness with old friends. They seem to bring out silliness in me that sometimes others don't see. Maybe that's because they knew me back when I was more carefree, and all we had to do was study, jump on the trampoline, throw water balloons from our roof top at visitors, and talk. We talked until the wee hours of the morning about everything and nothing at all. It was the combination of the two that was so great--going from deep discussions on theology and God's plan for our lives to prank wars and boyfriends. It is truly a blessing to have good friends. I am encouraged and inspired by the friendships that have sustained me for many years, and the new friendships that are developing and growing at this phase in my life. I am thankful for both! I love this thought by C.S. Lewis on friendship--
"But in friendship, we think we have chosen our peers. In reality, a few years differences in the dates of our birth, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another, posting to different regiments, the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting. . . any of these changes might have kept us apart. But, for a Chrisitian, there are strictly speaking, no chances. A secret Master of Ceremonies has been at work, Christ, who said to the disciples, "You have not chosen me but I have chosen you," can truly say to every group of Christian friends, "You have not chosen one another, but I have chosen you for one another."

I am thankful that there are no chances with friendships--I am truly blessed by the friends God has chosen for me.

Feb 7, 2005

No eye has seen, no ear has heard

I had a moment of pure, unmitigated joy today.
As I worked on my bible study lesson, Ava napped on my chest. I could feel her sweet little breath on my neck, and I had her blanket wrapped around both of us as we rested on my bed. I was reading from 1 Corinthians as Paul was addressing the Corinthians about problems in their church, and the moment just snuck in.
1 Corinthians 2:9, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him--"
As I read, an unxeplainable peace swept over me. I held on to it, soaking it up and reveling in absolute Spirt filled joy. And then just as quickly as it came, it passed.
Not that I was sad after, but the moment was gone. The reality of my present sinful state on this earth crept back in, along with the lists of things to do; the washing machine buzzed alerting me that that load was complete; Ava stirred and woke up, ready to be changed and fed. The rest of my bible study would have to wait. But that scripture stayed with me, along with the memory of that fleeting moment.
I've had several of those moments in my life. They seem to hit me at unexpected times. It's almost as if I can step out of the situation and look at it with an outsider's perspective long enough to recognize the joy in that tiny, routine, seemingly insignificant moment. I wish I could hang on to them longer, and I wish that I could live my life more fully in each moment, instead of thinking about the next. I tend to be a chronic list maker, which lends itself to thinking about my days as a series of tasks to accomplish, instead of moments to enjoy. I'm going to work on changing my perspective, and putting my lists on hold.
Back to the scripture-- I had the thought that perhaps heaven in going to be a place where we can fully live in the joy of every moment. Why is it that things always seem better, happier, funnier in retrospect. When I was in college, everyone told me, "Enjoy this time; you'll never be as care free again in your life." I tried to enjoy it, but I'm sure that I worried too much about things I cannot even remember now; how can you fully appreciate the exact moment you're in at all times? The same thing goes for motherhood. I cannot count the number of times that people have told me, "Enjoy it now because before you know it, your baby will be _________(crawling, walking, talking, in kindergarten, a teenageer, leaving home. . . )" I really want to enjoy every moment, and when I have those rare fleeting moments like today's, I hang on to them as long as I can and try to appreciate them.
Perhaps no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived the absolute eternal joy and peace that God has in store for those who love him. Maybe He gives us a taste of it here on earth, in glimpses and in passing moments, so that we will continue to seek and love Him, as we press on, looking forward to the things He has prepared for us.
I'm sure that it's more than we could ask or imagine.
In the meantime, I'm off to change a diaper, and I'll try to appreciate it!
(Photo by Kristin Morales-- see site under More Blogs!)

Feb 4, 2005

My first blog experience

I am in the process of setting up my blog page, and the pressure is on to say something interesting. I am fascinated with this new type of communication, and feel like I've been in the dark about blog world. Why have I not heard about this sooner? I have already enjoyed reading the thoughts of several known bloggers, and look forward to entering in to the community of blog myself. I only learned about it this morning. My sister, Kate (an English teacher), and dad (an avid reader and also an English teacher) are in town this weekend. Both are bloggers and great writers. I decided to jump onboard, but am somewhat nervous about the "comments" aspect of this form of expression. Any one at any time can read what I have to say, and my biggest fear is that, as it turns out, I have not much to say at all. At one point in my life, I was more of a reader and a writer. I was, in fact, an English major in college. I had things to say, and learned eloquent ways to say them. (But please don't expect my grammar to be perfect.) Now most days I am home with my 4 1/2 month old daughter, cooing and gurgling as she learns to roll over and do the things babies do. It will be nice to have an outlet for my grown-up ramblings and thoughts. I only hope that I haven't lost my ability to have grown-up thoughts. I guess we'll see. . .
As I read over this, I thought about deleting it, but I guess the whole point is that you can't be a self-conscious blogger. You just have to say what you have to say, and perhaps it will strike a cord with someone, and if not, at least I've gotten to express myself, even if only for a moment!